I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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