I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
