do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
