Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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