Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
