She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize