Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
