Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Randomize
