Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high