I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
