watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”