Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...