He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Floor bacon is actually really good