dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?