Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab

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  (312): i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab http://tfl.nu/kluh
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.

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  (541): Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour. http://tfl.nu/t7z3
  Replies (23) Good night (501) Bad night (2532) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married

  (214): View more from Texas

  What? They have three kids?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me

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  (512): So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married (214): What? They have three kids? (512): Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me http://tfl.nu/93bk
  Replies (20) Good night (747) Bad night (5933)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  sarcasm needs its own font

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  (440): sarcasm needs its own font http://tfl.nu/5kc7
  Replies (55) Good night (8247) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower

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  (732): I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower http://tfl.nu/n59j
  Replies (43) Good night (1180) Bad night (19559) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.

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  (630): Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/jrv5
  Replies (7) Good night (4314) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.

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  (801): This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me. http://tfl.nu/7tsq
  Replies (19) Good night (988) Bad night (3523) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?

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  (347): I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank? http://tfl.nu/v6b9
  Replies (3) Good night (875) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.

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  (352): I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle. http://tfl.nu/6oed
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  (813): View more from Florida

  The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.

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  (813): The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job. http://tfl.nu/jr9a
  Replies (10) Good night (1598) Bad night (411) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?

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  (614): The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/yci0
  Replies (16) Good night (3676) Bad night (407)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!

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  (970): Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!! http://tfl.nu/2nfr
  Replies (1) Good night (867) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.

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  (505): KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS. http://tfl.nu/ef79
  Replies (4) Good night (1374) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.

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  (919): These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again. http://tfl.nu/lco3
  Replies (3) Good night (315) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand

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  (315): This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand http://tfl.nu/jj5a
  Replies (3) Good night (802) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt

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