i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
