Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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