All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
