but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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