You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
