I heard we made out
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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