this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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