And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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