it hurts more in the daytime
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
