do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
