I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
