how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize