actually, I'm a sock model
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
