Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
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I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
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Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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