My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Randomize
