Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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