why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
are you so shy because you have an std?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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