Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
