Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
