The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
