i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Randomize
