"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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