I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
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His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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