if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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