And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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