a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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