the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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