i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
