Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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