the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize