you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
