Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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