I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize