she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize