Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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