Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
