i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
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no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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