she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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