see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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