I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
