So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Randomize