Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize