"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
