i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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