The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
